They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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