i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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