You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
