so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize