if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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