I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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