oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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