I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
