Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
