Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
