I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
