If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
