This girl is more easily done than said...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
