if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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