Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
