Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
