Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
