its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
