i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
