Only a mothe r could love this liver
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
