Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
