He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
