Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
