i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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