i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
