PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
