Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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