He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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