three words: i give head
three words: not that well
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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