Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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