we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
