I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
