All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
