apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
they need to just BURY HIM!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
