I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
