You smell like stripper and shame
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
