(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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