look no pants
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
