nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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