Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
