I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
