I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The struggles of a small town man whore
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
