Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
