Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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