He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
