i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Blood and glitter go together right?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
