I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize