6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
