end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize