So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
