So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
