Did you just see the Batmobile???
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
