Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
