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I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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