This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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