After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
