lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
