so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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