Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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