i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
