do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
