shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
