Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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